Ok, I know it is sometimes considered tabu to talk about money, so I’m not going to give any numbers or anything, but I’m so happy I have to share about this. When money is tight there is more tension in the home. I think that is probably true for everyone. Well, while we have been managing to get by okay, we have also acquired a lot of debt here and there. Moving expenses (we have after all moved 10 times in the last 8 years!), car trouble, children, you know, life! Anyway, we are now actively trying to eliminate our debt and start saving for the future. We want to travel and retire someday and support our children’s future endeavors etc. Of course there are some things that will take considerable time to get paid off like our mortgage, student loans, and our van. But I am thrilled to say that with the help of our tax return and part of Josh’s bonus from work we have successfully paid off our computer and the larger of our two credit cards! For those of you who may not know, Josh has started taking classes towards his MBA (in Management I believe) and so his student loan payments should soon go into deferral. Then we can start putting the monthly payments that we would’ve been making on the computer, large credit card and student loans onto the smaller credit card and get it paid off ASAP! Then when we have to start paying off the student loans again we will have the money to do so in our monthly budget and things won’t be so tight! Already there has been some relief in the home. And hopefully we’ll be able to take our trip to Russia next year without any financial stress! YAY!!!
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by Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
I am super happy for you guys. I’m glad that money stuff is working out. I recently got paid for my first big illustration job (as in thousands of dollars instead of hundreds) and it was nice to get and pay a ton of rent that we owe. I always thought my dad was crazy when he said, “Lack of money is the root of all evil” but I can understand where he is coming from.
YAYYYY!!!! I’m excited for you… now you will have more money to come and see ME!!! lol
Becca,
Congratulations on achieving one of your money goals!
I know you’re into Dave Ramsey (I hear him once in a while on KWPC here), and that’s fine–up to a point. It’s fine to “get religion” about becoming debt-free (a la Ramsey) but I believe it’s tragic if that worthy aim mutates into a “me and mine” individualism that takes undue credit for “success” and unfairly faults those who “fail”. It’s so much easier to “blame the victim” than to study and grapple with big issues of systemic inequality and injustice.
I’ll again praise the program I heard on NPR three weeks ago: “Found, Won or Earned, Money Changes Everything.” I told you about it at the time, and I encourage everyone to listen at http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7082088 . (Description: “Talk of the Nation, January 30, 2007 · Sudden riches can buy things, but they can also bring headaches as friends and family argue over their share. Three contributors to a new collection of essays, titled Money Changes Everything, talk honestly about money and its role in their lives.”)
I liked its discussion of the uniquely American taboo against talking about money details (as you alluded to), and I especially liked its candid and sympathetic acknowledgment that many, many people are hurting more than they let on because they fear being seen as losers. Our society does a lot of good things to help people win, but we also do horrible things to those who don’t and even those who can’t.
Also, I am still intrigued by what I learned later on that same show about a one-year-old online micro-lending venture called Prosper (”the eBay of loans”). Listen to that bit at http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7084662 and then go see Prosper in action at http://prosper.com/ .
Dad
Becca & Josh -
All couples will nod with understanding at the challenges of handling money in a family. We have gone through various attempts through the years at budgeting - some working better than others. Ask sometime about our envelope-budgeting exercise! Mom has done very well at managing our household income and expenditures. The church has always provided us wise counsel and direction to help with managing our resources. The church has developed a website to help individuals in this area - http://providentliving.org/.
You may find some additional helps there along the way.
A church leader, N.Eldon Tanner gave a talk many years ago entitled “Constancy amid Change” which is one of a multitude of teachings from church leaders on the topic.
I include a quote from this talk:
“Constancy #2: Live on less than you earn. I have discovered that there is no way that you can ever earn more than you can spend. I am convinced that it is not the amount of money an individual earns that brings peace of mind as much as it is having control of his money. Money can be an obedient servant but a harsh taskmaster. Those who structure their standard of living to allow a little surplus, control their circumstances. Those who spend a little more than they earn are controlled by their circumstances. They are in bondage. President Grant once said: “If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet†(Gospel Standards, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1941, p. 111).
The key to spending less than we earn is simple—it is called discipline. Whether early in life or late, we must all eventually learn to discipline ourselves, our appetites, and our economic desires. How blessed is he who learns to spend less than he earns and puts something away for a rainy day.”
Another church leader, J.Reuben Clark taught of the nature of interest many years ago. His words on the subject have always impressed me as very applicable - even today, some 70 years later.
“Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation; it never visits nor travels; it takes no pleasure; it is never laid off work nor discharged from employment; it never works on reduced hours; it never has short crops nor droughts; it never pays taxes; it buys no food; it wears no clothes; it is unhoused and without home and so has no repairs, no replacements, no shingling, plumbing, painting, or whitewashing; it has neither wife, children, father, mother, nor kinfolk to watch over and care for; it has no expense of living; it has neither weddings nor births nor deaths; it has no love, no sympathy; it is as hard and soulless as a granite cliff. Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.†(In Conference Report, April 1938, p. 103.)
Congratulations on your progress. Your recognition of how money “issues” can give rise to tension in the home is very astute. The combined commitment to work together on any issue that threatens peace in the home is acknowledged by all couples as an ongoing effort - one worth sincere dedication.
Thank you for your continued postings on the web.
It helps those who are some distance away feel closer.
We send our love -
Dad Thrap