I’ve heard of extreme diets, but this is ridiculous. For lunch today I got to pretend I was like an archaeologist on an Antarctic dig. First, I “discovered” the frozen “healthy” meal in the freezer. Then I opened the initial site and “secured” the areas. Next, I got to chisel delicately away at the solid layer of ice to reveal the ancient “food” beneath. After trying to restore the food to its edible nature via microwave what I ended up with really was a skeleton of a meal. I almost took a picture of it for you all to see but I figured I’d let you sleep at night. It is frightening. Of course I have guilt issues about wasting food so I am attempting to eat it but it really is almost physically impossible. I guess I’ll have more soup.
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Will: You want me to find this? Jack: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
by Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Uh-oh. Where did you learn your guilt issues?
Dad
Defrosting the freezer in the basement has been on my “To-Do” list since before Christmas. Maybe I should save the job until you’re here to use your Arctic Exploring skills. And then we can prep a “Vintage” meal. Or maybe you should offer your talents to your grandma?!?
Mom