Comments on: Time to Grow Up? http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/ Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:51:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Josh http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-20073 Josh Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:59:50 +0000 http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/#comment-20073 My wife is wonderful in many ways that are not measuarble by any stereotypes. She is unique and at times seems to be trying to fit a mold that she thinks she is supposed too. It could be me it could be the moms she interacts with it could be life in general, but the fact is my wife is good at many things that are far more important than having a clean house, or having 0 laundry waiting to be washed. She knows that in reality and eternally we are all individuals who are individually unique and special and that the person is truly the most important thing and spending time with friends, family and Spouse are her priorities. The world has lost this priority in the high productive lives we all live and it is sometimes looked down upon those who take the time to smell the roses, but in reality we are all here to smell the roses and make choices and learn from the consequences of those choices, and there is many a person who grows old and wishes they had spent more quality time with friends and family and not wished they had spent so much time cleaning/working. I enjoy growing up with my wife and hope that my own quest to become an adult does not hinder her own. My wife is wonderful in many ways that are not measuarble by any stereotypes. She is unique and at times seems to be trying to fit a mold that she thinks she is supposed too. It could be me it could be the moms she interacts with it could be life in general, but the fact is my wife is good at many things that are far more important than having a clean house, or having 0 laundry waiting to be washed. She knows that in reality and eternally we are all individuals who are individually unique and special and that the person is truly the most important thing and spending time with friends, family and Spouse are her priorities. The world has lost this priority in the high productive lives we all live and it is sometimes looked down upon those who take the time to smell the roses, but in reality we are all here to smell the roses and make choices and learn from the consequences of those choices, and there is many a person who grows old and wishes they had spent more quality time with friends and family and not wished they had spent so much time cleaning/working.

I enjoy growing up with my wife and hope that my own quest to become an adult does not hinder her own.

]]> By: Kate http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-20037 Kate Sun, 13 Apr 2008 08:07:19 +0000 http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/#comment-20037 First of all, I think you are amazing. The fact that you just wrote these feelings all out in the hopes that someone could tell you how to be an adult just shows how adult you really are. I think one of the best things you can do is to cut yourself some slack and quit thinking that you are JUST a mother and a wife. YOU are BECCA THRAP, who happens to be a mother and a wife. You are also... 1. My best friend 2. My scrapalicious partner in crime and debauchery 3. An amazing listener 4. A bargain shopper like no other 5. A super planner 6. A DO-ER 7. Worldly 8. Hilarious! 9. Insightful 10. Brilliant That's just 10 things that you are besides being a mother and a wife. I think that there are many people who look at you in amazement and I wish that you could look at you and see what I see. I love you muchly!!! First of all, I think you are amazing. The fact that you just wrote these feelings all out in the hopes that someone could tell you how to be an adult just shows how adult you really are. I think one of the best things you can do is to cut yourself some slack and quit thinking that you are JUST a mother and a wife. YOU are BECCA THRAP, who happens to be a mother and a wife. You are also…

1. My best friend
2. My scrapalicious partner in crime and debauchery
3. An amazing listener
4. A bargain shopper like no other
5. A super planner
6. A DO-ER
7. Worldly
8. Hilarious!
9. Insightful
10. Brilliant

That’s just 10 things that you are besides being a mother and a wife. I think that there are many people who look at you in amazement and I wish that you could look at you and see what I see.

I love you muchly!!!

]]> By: Linda http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-20011 Linda Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:13:12 +0000 http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/#comment-20011 Becca, I believe that many people have been where you are right now. But I am not so sure that your feelings are purely from not "being" adult enough. Lisa said being an adult is "being in control of your life and being satisfied with what you do everyday." Perhaps you don't feel that you are really in control of your life. No one person or family can satisfy all of your needs. I would suggest that you sit down and make a long list of all of your needs. Then put a plus behind each one that is currently being met and minuses behind the ones which are not being met. Separate out those minuses and prioritize them with the most important need first. Now, what can you actually do to meet those needs? Not what can someone else do to meet your needs. What can YOU do? You are a very bright young woman. You are are also very sociable. Is your brain being challenged? You love your children, but let's face it, what you do every day could be done by almost anyone. You love your children. I love my children, but a daycare was the best place for them to be when they were small. They received more stimulation there than I would have given them at home. If full-time day care isn't possible, how about a few hours a day or a few hours a week, and then plan something "adult like" for those hours. Take a class, get a part time job, exercise, write a book, volunteer at a school, hospital, group home, etc. etc. etc. Becca, you have a lot to offer to the world and you don't have to wait until your children go to college to make it happen. Your current unhappiness is important to listen to. I don't think just bucking up and trying to be a better mom will work. There are people who will read my post and not like what I say, but you are more than your kids' mom and Josh's wife. You just have to figure out what your passion is and go after it. It won't happen overnight and you may take a wrong turn in the road. Be careful, think about it and don't just jump into something just to get out of the house. I will always remember the little plays that you, Laura and Sarah put on for the family. Such creativity!! I believe most of that came from you. Where did it go? Could you write plays? Did you know that Aunt Jane went to bed every night about 8:00 p.m.? I always thought she went to sleep. No, it was her alone time. Don't be ashamed of looking closely within yourself. It is what will keep you sane. I am so impressed with how open you are and willing to share. I hope you come up with some things. I look forward to reading how things go. Aunt Linda Becca,
I believe that many people have been where you are right now. But I am not so sure that your feelings are purely from not “being” adult enough. Lisa said being an adult is “being in control of your life and being satisfied with what you do everyday.” Perhaps you don’t feel that you are really in control of your life.
No one person or family can satisfy all of your needs. I would suggest that you sit down and make a long list of all of your needs. Then put a plus behind each one that is currently being met and minuses behind the ones which are not being met. Separate out those minuses and prioritize them with the most important need first. Now, what can you actually do to meet those needs? Not what can someone else do to meet your needs. What can YOU do?
You are a very bright young woman. You are are also very sociable. Is your brain being challenged? You love your children, but let’s face it, what you do every day could be done by almost anyone. You love your children. I love my children, but a daycare was the best place for them to be when they were small. They received more stimulation there than I would have given them at home.
If full-time day care isn’t possible, how about a few hours a day or a few hours a week, and then plan something “adult like” for those hours. Take a class, get a part time job, exercise, write a book, volunteer at a school, hospital, group home, etc. etc. etc.
Becca, you have a lot to offer to the world and you don’t have to wait until your children go to college to make it happen. Your current unhappiness is important to listen to. I don’t think just bucking up and trying to be a better mom will work.
There are people who will read my post and not like what I say, but you are more than your kids’ mom and Josh’s wife. You just have to figure out what your passion is and go after it. It won’t happen overnight and you may take a wrong turn in the road. Be careful, think about it and don’t just jump into something just to get out of the house.
I will always remember the little plays that you, Laura and Sarah put on for the family. Such creativity!! I believe most of that came from you. Where did it go? Could you write plays?
Did you know that Aunt Jane went to bed every night about 8:00 p.m.? I always thought she went to sleep. No, it was her alone time.
Don’t be ashamed of looking closely within yourself. It is what will keep you sane. I am so impressed with how open you are and willing to share.
I hope you come up with some things. I look forward to reading how things go.
Aunt Linda

]]> By: Lisa http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-20003 Lisa Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:55:01 +0000 http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/#comment-20003 I think that feeling like an adult is not something that happens because we are doing adult things. I think it's a feeling of being in control of your life and being satisfied with what you do everyday. I don't know if everyone gets to the point where they feel "adult". My mom said she still doesn't. What helped me to feel more fulfilled in general was to do more quality activies with the kids and Dave. When I spend more REAL time with the kids, the job gets easier. I guess just keep thinking deep and eventually everything will fall into place. I think that feeling like an adult is not something that happens because we are doing adult things. I think it’s a feeling of being in control of your life and being satisfied with what you do everyday. I don’t know if everyone gets to the point where they feel “adult”. My mom said she still doesn’t. What helped me to feel more fulfilled in general was to do more quality activies with the kids and Dave. When I spend more REAL time with the kids, the job gets easier. I guess just keep thinking deep and eventually everything will fall into place.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-20001 Lisa Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:59:06 +0000 http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/#comment-20001 This is Mike writing on Lisa's computer. I just wanted to say that I have totally felt like you feel. Like an immature person somehow in charge of immature children. I too have been sarcastic to my own children. I think that defining "adulthood" could be as simple as saying, "When we don't give in to our natural tendencies and choose the mature option we are being adults." It's hard to do and nobody is mature all of the time (except for Christ). I was also thinking that it is immature to never find time for yourself. Real "adults" learn to balance between responsibilites and time devoted to improving one's self. Sometimes R&R is self improvement. Am I making sense? This is Mike writing on Lisa’s computer. I just wanted to say that I have totally felt like you feel. Like an immature person somehow in charge of immature children. I too have been sarcastic to my own children. I think that defining “adulthood” could be as simple as saying, “When we don’t give in to our natural tendencies and choose the mature option we are being adults.” It’s hard to do and nobody is mature all of the time (except for Christ).

I was also thinking that it is immature to never find time for yourself. Real “adults” learn to balance between responsibilites and time devoted to improving one’s self. Sometimes R&R is self improvement. Am I making sense?

]]> By: Daniel G. Clark http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-20000 Daniel G. Clark Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:58:25 +0000 http://www.thrapfamily.com/2008/04/11/time-to-grow-up/#comment-20000 Well...don't give up trying to figure it out! I don't know why I should feel like an adult if you don't have to. That's my first reaction. Becca, I always enjoy watching you think! Dad Well…don’t give up trying to figure it out!

I don’t know why I should feel like an adult if you don’t have to. That’s my first reaction.

Becca, I always enjoy watching you think!

Dad

]]>